ISBN: 9789966107107
Date read: 2017-07-27
How strongly I recommend it: 8/10
Deep look at friendship and courtship. It chronicles Diane and Andrews 8 year’s journey before they got married while simultaneously sharing lessons learnt. Interlaced in her story are powerful biblical lessons about relationships. As aptly captured in the book sub title “A journey Through The Courtship Wilderness”, it is a journey worth taking by any young person keen on practicing honest and godly relationships. It will take only a few hours. It took me 3 hours only to read the entire book.
See my notes below, but definitely read the book itself to get the real impact. You have to read the whole book to get the context of these notes as well as the real life stories that build up to the lessons learnt.
My Notes.
- Prayers work. While still a high school student, she prayed that God would lead her to meet the person she would get married to. Her prayer was answered. Their choir master then ended up becoming the husband. They both had passion for Music, gospel music.
- Passion, gifts can bring people together, and with eternal consequences. Both Diane and Andrew had ardent passion for Music. She says it is Andrew’s spirituality and passion for music that firstly made him attractive to her.
- Consult the will of God first. No amount of dating, courting or reading self-help books can give you enough preparation for marriage or assurance of a successful marriage unless you have learnt the art of surrender of your will to God. They would read the bible during dates as well as study the “Adventist Home” together. Marital security does not lie in financial strength and academic qualifications.
- Dating/courting does not have to be an expensive affair. If you can bring home cooked food to your dates, then you are good to go. Do not stress over it. You do not have to fret over the cost of flowers either. You can utilize the naturally free ones. Just be thoughtful though.
- It is worthwhile to have a written vision and mission for you relationship. In their dating years, Diane and Andrew drafted a dating blue print with a mission and vision statement. You need something that will make your time together productive. Not the usual stories people share about each other during dates. You need to have an Agenda, A written Agenda. What are your views towards conflict resolution and communication? Etc. They have shared what they came up with in her book “Back to Eden” as well as the steps on how to develop yours. God will not just drop a working relationship from heaven, we all have a part to do and His grace is sufficient to show us what to do, how to do and when to do.
- The unexpected happens. Your expectations will get crashed. That flashy proposal you have always dreamed of may never come to pass. Your man may be the quieter, introvert type who shun public limelight. What will you do? The relationship may come to the verge of breaking due to clashing conflicts, unfulfilled expectations etc. Andrew was already working (was/is an electrical engineering graduate) while Diane was/is still a student. They weathered this tumultuous period though. Relationships are not a walk in the park. Do not give up though.
- When you go through broken relationships, praise God, and even when you experience happy and smooth ones, praise God too. God gives us a chance to go and inspect and get a feel of what is it we are getting into.
- It is always easier for human eyes to identify deficiencies than provisions; the flaw than the perfections. Often when an opportunity for success presents itself in any field, we are quick to point out why the dream cannot be achieved. Often times, the things we so look for in another we lack ourselves. Many a time we have failed at relationships because we are busy blaming.
- For you to know how to love your partner, you must experience the love of Christ and it is this which you shall share with your partner.
- Real Love undergoes serious and intense moments of testing; moments when your faith is put to test and moments when it seems the ship is sinking. We experience challenges that really test out endurance limits and some people give up, others continue battling each other instead of seeking help from Christ. The fights we have are often cause by selfishness.
- Learn to forgive each other. Many times you will offend each other. You will get into each other’s nerves but you must learn to forgive.
- Wedding does not have to be expensive. Cut the dress according to your size! Be a good steward too. Do not be wasteful.
- Seek godly counsel from the wise. Read the bible together. Learn from other people’s experiences.
- Choose to serve the Lord, you and your house. Have the scripture as the foundation of your relationship. She says “I had experienced a strong attraction to this man from the first time we met and I know the only thing that attracted me to him was his love for scripture.
- Preparing to start a home is like building the two famous houses (Matthew 7:24-25). One is built upon a rock: a rock that can never be shaken, firm and secure, deep and abiding. The other is built upon the sinking sands of life; on visions of earthly treasure.
Here is their Facebook page on how you can get more information about the book.
Want to read similar notes for another relationship book?, read The Truth – by Neil Strauss notes by Derek Sivers
